Our Hero

     Our story begins during the winter of 1971, December 7^th to be exact.  It had been a typical day, and an even more typical night.  Everything was as it should’ve been, and nothing seemed out of place.  All was calm, until it was time for Our Hero to be born.  It would be at that exact moment (the moment of his birth) that our story would begin, but that would make for a rather long and drawn out story with little or no real significance at all.  Rather than bore the readers with that, we’ll skip ahead several years, but first we’ll delve slightly into the formative years of Our Hero.  The formative years being (of course) from the beginning, up to the current, and they start now.

     Our Hero had what one might consider a fairly normal childhood.  Normal parents, normal siblings, normal schools, normal friends, etc.  As he got older, he discovered girls, and (for the most part) chose normal ones to be his paramours.  It wasn’t until after high school that he discovered Her (“The Ex”), and she would eventually change his life.  For better or for worse was never really important, rather the fact that he would forever be changed was the only thing that mattered.  It was Her that motivated him to do most of what he would choose to do during his late twenties and into his early thirties.  She was not just his partner, but his muse, his enlightenment, and later the mother of his children.  It was an unusual coupling, the two of them not exactly compatible in many ways, but they were young and in love and forever seemed to be a pretty attainable goal.  It wasn’t until many years later that the magic (once powerful and exciting) faded away.  It was a slow process, and as such wasn’t all that obvious at first.  When it finally became apparent that what once was wasn’t going to be any longer, parting was not a sweet sorrow. 

     Parting was sorrowful, but certainly not at all sweet.  It was a long parting, full of sorrow, pain, fighting, sadness, and the whole mess of complications that goes along with the collapse of a partnership.  In the end, it was just over.  Unceremoniously, quietly, devoid of all fanfare, and mostly devoid of emotion, it was simply… Over. 

     To those who believe in fate or destiny (I can never really tell the difference) their meeting would truly appear to be right out of some fabled storybook.  It was pure happenstance that brought them together, and any number of outcomes could certainly have happened if not for some unusual inclination that told Our Hero to veer from his normal route and stop at the home of an acquaintance (and not an especially close one at that) that he’d not seen for a while.  It was here where he first realized that he had met who he believed to be his true love. 

     He’d met her a few times before, a year or so prior, but never really found the need to become more familiar with her, so when he met her this time he was slightly surprised when he realized that was actually quite fond of her.  She was visiting for a few days during a vacation from school at the home of her close friend, the sister of the acquaintance of Our Hero, who just decided that he was bored and would stop in to say hi.  When their eyes met, he knew it was Her that he wanted, and Her that he would someday marry.  When their eyes met, he felt a connection he’d never felt before, and couldn’t explain it.

     They had quite a long courtship, mainly because of their ages.  They were young, foolish, in love, and unsure of what course to take in life.  She had plans to go to college, and become a teacher and mother while he was not the collegiate type.  He wanted to work to provide for her, and someday, their family.  Their courtship was a rocky one, since they’d both had limited experience with life.  They’d never really been with anyone else, so the only relationship they knew was their own.  They drifted apart, and came back together, even seeking comfort in others for brief times.  Neither of them was perfect, nor did they claim to be.  They simply went by instinct, feelings, and what their hearts told them to do.  During this long courtship, they eventually settled into a routine that (to them) made sense and suggested a more permanent union. 

     They believed that they wanted to be together forever, and marriage certainly made sense, so they did what was expected of them and got married.  In the beginning there was happiness, or at least contentment.  It was the unexpected that caused the problems to become painful.  Money was short, and bills weren’t getting paid.  Borrowing from Peter to pay Paul became almost second nature until Peter was no longer willing to give.  They were forced to seek refuge from debt by borrowing some money from his parents, and moving in with them for almost a year.  Still, they tried to stay happy being together and struggled through it all until they got back on their feet and decided that starting a family would bring them joy and bring them closer together.

     When they learned a baby was coming, only a few select people were told.  It was the first time and it was still early, and things could happen.  Sadly, things happened.  For reasons nobody will ever know, she miscarried and it was an experience that would change them both forever.  It was a long healing process that had long-lasting effects that neither of them expected or could have predicted.  It brought them together, but it also drove them apart.  It was difficult for both of them and since there had never been this sort of pain in their lives before, neither of them had any real idea how to deal with it.  It brought them together slowly, and eventually it brought them news that, once again, a baby was coming.  This time, although the pregnancy was troubled and the baby came 8 weeks early, the baby did come. 

     She had been around children plenty, working in day care for several years and studying to be a teacher.  He had limited experience, and really had no clues as to what to expect.  Furthermore, having a baby born 8 weeks early added a layer of stress and confusion.  The joy of a new baby was partially overshadowed by the frustration of not being able to take her home to the new apartment they’d just moved into.  The empty bassinet sat there, day after day waiting for the baby that wasn’t there.  The next month would certainly be trying, if nothing else.

    The next month was spent running back and forth the hospital (which was located in one of the worst cities in the country) at all hours of the day and night.  Getting very little sleep, working, and driving up through the “hood” at a moment’s notice was bad enough, but being told more than once that they’d be able to take her home (only to found out that there was some reason they couldn’t) was almost unbearable for Our Hero and the Ex.  It was more than anyone should have to deal with, but they did.  And they did a pretty good job at it, despite some serious obstacles.

     Sure, there was stress, a boatload of it, and then some.  It was a series of firsts for both of them, and a lot of frustration for both.  The baby got up every few hours to eat, and he didn’t know what to do or how to do it.  She was nursing, and he was ill-equipped for that sort of thing and could only feed the baby from bottles that had been pumped earlier.  He didn’t know how to warm them, didn’t know how to use them, and didn’t know what to do when the baby wouldn’t drink them.  She was exhausted from being up all day and night; he was exhausted from working all day and trying to be up at night with the baby.  He started to feel useless, she started to feel overwhelmed.  In time, however, they managed to get through it.

     They moved into a bigger place, he got a better job, she went back to work, and things seemed to be going well.  It wasn’t long before they decided it was time to try for a little brother for the daughter they had.  This time, the problems in the pregnancy started early.  The stress of her (now) new job caused trouble, and caused her to miss time at work.  This led to money troubles, which led to more stress, which led to fighting, etc., until finally, the baby came.  A month early it came, but it was a perfectly healthy baby boy that was able to go home with mommy when she left the hospital.

     After a short time, she found work part-time.  It was a good job, it made her happy to do it, and it helped with the bills.  The bills, it seemed, would never be paid on time.  There really was never enough money, but they got by.  They got by, but that’s about all they did.  They grew farther and farther apart, and money became a bigger issue.  She finally got a better job, a full-time teaching position.  He got a promotion that gave him a nice raise, but made him work until the early morning hours.  He’d leave for work before she’d get home, and he’d get home from work in time to say goodbye to her.  The almost never saw each other, and rarely spoke.  Marriage counseling seemed like a good idea at the time, but by then it was already too late.  The damage was done, the love was gone.  The divorce that followed was not as messy as some, but still damaging to everyone involved.  In the end, there were no winners except for the attorneys.  Everyone else was losers in a vicious game where everyone is a pawn and the children always get the worst.  What they called “the Wedding of the Century” led to just another divorce added to the list in the county hall of records.  They’d become a statistic.

     Sadly, after the smoke cleared, nobody came out on top.  She stayed in the apartment they’d shared, where the children called home.  He moved out when they separated, only to fall heavily into debt after struggling for a year and a half.  Rent, car payments, a totaled car, bills and legal fees made it impossible to pay the rent without wondering how the lights were staying on.  Broke, and broken, he moved in with his parents, determined to get his life back on track and move back out into freedom.

     It’s from this point that our story begins.  It’s at this point where we meet… Our Hero.