anticipation

1 a: a prior action that takes into account or forestalls a later action b: the act of looking forward; especially : pleasurable expectation2: the use of money before it is available3 a: visualization of a future event or state b: an object or form that anticipates a later type4: the early sounding of one or more tones of a succeeding chord to form a temporary dissonance — compare suspension

So, this must be episode 3. Wow- I've been busy lately. Good thing though- It's good to finally care enough about something that I need to write about it. And so, our latest episode begins... Here

It's Friday, and while the day means little to the reader, it means a great deal to the author. He's got plans, and he's very excited about them. He's waited a long time for these plans, and as the day grows nearer it seems so far away.

He's going to see Her tomorrow. Not just any "her", but Her. The one he calls his Muse. His reason for suddenly realizing that maybe things aren't really all that bad. The reason he keeps his trusty cell phone charged and near him at all times, hoping for a call or a text message from her, and the notification that she's sent him email.

The drive is fairly short, probably less than an hour straight up Rt. 206 from work, but it will seem like an eternity. Why though? It will be exactly a week since the last time he saw her, and they've talked on the phone so many times since then that there's really no reason he should be nervous, but still... the anticipation is killing him.

It's really a very odd sensation for him, and one that he's not really understanding. It's not a bothersome one, it's actually nice, but nonetheless, odd.
It had been 24 years since he'd heard her voice, 24 years since he'd seen her smile, 24 years since he'd been smitten with her (but as a child, he didn't even know it), and sadly (and shamefully) as the years passed, they drifted apart. It was probably all his fault, after all- he was young and she was far away. At 13, he had no idea about the importance of friendship and less of a clue about the importance of companionship. What makes the whole thing so shameful is that after a few years, he didn't even miss her anymore.

Now, is a different story.
After seeing her one time, he misses her.
He misses seeing her smile, he misses hearing her laugh, and the phone's not enough.
He really can't wait to see her, and he hopes she feels (if even only a little) the same way.

Saturday night may only be a day away, but it's going to be a very long day.
Thankfully, not 24 years long.

If things happen for a reason, then he's have some theories about the time they've spent apart.
Life is a series of learning experiences, and 36 years later, he's still learning.
He's learned a lot about friendship, parenthood, love, responsibility, respect, and even himself.
It took a lot of work, a lot of successes, and a lot more failures to finally get to where he's at now.
Finally, after years of insecurity, anger, pain, and sadness he's ready to accept the joy, happiness, and love that life has offered him. Close friends, wonderful children, and the simple understanding that life will have downs for every up, has given him hope.

Her suddenly reappearing has helped turn that hope into faith.
Faith that good things can happen. You just need to allow them to.